Agreement before Sex; i picked this up from a friend's page and decided to share. very funny

Agreement b4 SEX





I_______________________, the undersigned female partner

(herein referred to as the "screwee"), about to enjoy sexual intercourse

with _______________ (hereafter referred to as the "screwer"), hereby declare as follows:



1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.



2. THAT I am not under the influence of any narcotic substance(s).

3. THAT the aforementioned screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.



4. THAT I, the screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever.

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5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him



6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and I do not care.



7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk



8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him because I love it and want it as much as he does.



9. THAT in the event that I receive full and 'delicious' satisfaction, which I expect, declare in advance, the capacity and willingness for further participation as soon as time permits.



10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that:



10.1 I contract a sexual disease

10.2 I fall pregnant

10.3. I feel that he is violating any legislation - moral, legal or otherwise.



SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED THIS _______ DAY OF (MONTH)____________



(YEAR) ___________ AT ___________________



Signature of screwee : ______________





Please fill the above form and return to me before friday night